American Mummy
2014
Directed by Charles Pinion
Produced by Greg Salman
Cinematography: Jenny Ramirez
Starred: Aaron Burt, Suziey Block, Peter Marr, and Aidan Bristow
Reviewed by A. Renee Hunt

How does an Aztec Lord take over a new and modernized civilization? By passing on an archaic virus, of course! In American Mummy, a group of university students make the discovery of a lifetime, which carries the potential to bring about the ending of the world. Lord Tezcalipoca is out for blood… which is like black gold (oil) in our present day.

I wanted so much to like this movie; I really did. The story is about one thing, bringing back the reign of Lord Tezcalipoca, but the way it’s carried out left me as desiccated as the mummy itself.

I’ll just go ahead and itemize my top dislikes for this movie – not to bash it though! I would NEVER deliberately say things about a movie to be cruel. This is strictly what I did not like about the movie… which is quite a bit. Okay:

First, Dr. Lorbachovsky (the Russian) carried an awful accent. He came off weak in either Italian or Spanish to me. Whatever it was, it didn’t sound Russian. Then there’s the score. I am an a lover of musical scores, I own a ton of them. This movie’s sound was a mix of spaghetti western and 1930s classical. It was not properly matched, unless this was supposed to be a spoof. Which leads me into my next dislike.

I couldn’t tell if American Mummy was supposed to be taken seriously or not. There was too much comedy – unless it wasn’t supposed to be. In which case, the acting was poor. I couldn’t attach myself to any of the characters and found myself happy when they were killed off. And speaking of dying, what was the deal with the “mummiphilia?” I wasn’t grossed out, but making out with an ancient mummy – while still dried up and near fossilized, but I laughed when that chick died! Not only because she died, but because her acting while dying simply killed me.

What I can say about the movie is the cinematography was excellent in the breakaway scenes. There’s a scene of the mountains/boulders with an amazing blue sky and wispy white clouds overhead – amazing!

So that’s it. I did not like the movie, but I still have to give props to the people who put this together. I can’t make a movie and probably wouldn’t have the patience. American Mummy released July of 2014; catch it anywhere you rent video.