George Dugdale and Mark Ezra’s epic horror masterpiece, based on the Academy Award-winning screenplay by Ezra and Peter Mackenzie Litten, is a virtuoso performance in every . . . sorry, couldn’t help it. Let’s see, what do you get when you take a group of Brits attempting to emulate the already-tired success of a 1980’s American slasher film? That’s right, one hell of a botched horror outing, a.k.a. Slaughter High.
Marty Rantzen (Simon Scuddamore) is the prototype nerd which suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous taunting by the high school in-crowd. However, when an April Fool’s joke goes awry, Marty gets around to returning later on so as to enact just desserts upon his tormentors.
It’s not bad enough that ol’ Marty takes a bottle of nitric acid to the face (don’t you hate that?) after being blue-balled by the school vixen, Carol Manning (Caroline Munro), but it had to, natch, happen on his birthday of all days. So, to make a long story short, fast forward to a faux reunion sponsored by none other than Mister Highly Pissed Off himself, appearing fully clad in a jester’s Halloween mask and a pair of gardening gloves (what respectable psycho would be seen without I ask you), to the beat of a irritatingly catchy happy-go-lucky ditty repeated ad infinitum amid a barrage of WTF scenarios, including, but not limited to: 1) a character getting blood thrown in her face to later be seen in the bathtub cleaning up. Now, this wouldn’t be necessarily eyebrow-raising in and of itself if it weren’t for the fact that her subsequent scrubby-dubbies take place in an dilapidated high school. 2) But, naturally, it follows that good ol’ boy Joe (Gary Martin) who is not all that bright but will happily be of assistance moving heavy things, goes to town fixing a tractor for our protagonists’ escape. But wait! Once again, the catch is Joey is monkey wrenching around with John Deere in the school! Seriously, if your high school had a bathtub and/or requisite tractor, drop me a line, I’d like to hear how this worked out for you in the long run. 3) Of course, this says nothing of the ever-so-subtle move of Dugdale and Co. that, though Doddsville County High has been closed for a number of years, those trapped inside not only have access to all the modern-day amenities, such as electricity and running water, but also have the ever-so-brief helping hand of the janitor-cum-caretaker. 4) To top it all off, and I’m still scratching my head over how in the Hell I missed this one along the way, April Fool’s Day runs only twelve hours instead of the standard Holiday quotient of a long twenty-four. At least, that’s how the characters of Slaughter High would have you believe, ergo, “If we can make it to noon [thus the secession of the anniversary of Marty’s mishap], we’re home free . . . .”
Needless to say, I think we bypassed the question of whether the plot supercedes cliché or goes at it like a manic pug in heat as the filmmakers demand only the best as they blatantly parrot–excuse me–allude to and reference Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, John Carpenter’s Halloween, Sean Cunningham’s Friday the 13th, and Wes Craven’s A Nightmare on Elm Street. (Though, not to sound unnecessarily harsh here, I got the faint impression that these were perhaps the only horror films those involved had time to view amid their obviously vast preparatory research period prior to shooting.) Furthermore, alongside seemingly countless “boo moments,” we are treated to the always challenging premise that if you are naughty, you might as well save us the time and trouble and keel over now as the audience is invited to scratch off the “drugs,” “sex,” and “alcohol” columns on our horror checklists. And, guess what? The only one to survive not only abstained from all of the above but even eked out a bit of pity for our Revenge of the Nerds extra. Warm fuzzies brought to you on behalf of the Hallmark’s corporation . . .
On a more somber note, Simon Scuddamore committed suicide shortly after shooting the role of Marty, which he was only able to do during weekdays (the filming part, not the suicide bit) in that his Saturdays and Sundays were reserved–and I’m not making this up–to helping out at a school for deprived children. I can’t help but think–with a clear conscious goaded by the ironic sense of timing–that the realization of what he was responsible for as the face of Marty the Murderous Nerd ultimately influenced the actor’s decision to shed his mortal coil or what have you. How would you handle being informed that you are perfect for one of the most derogatorily clichéd character roles in all of film? Sadly, George Dugdale and Mark Ezra, as well as everyone else involved in the making of Slaughter High, didn’t have the good sense to follow Scuddamore’s lead. But, look on the bright side, at least we have the cool poster art as a fatigued, emaciated saving grace of sorts, right?
-Egregious Gurnow
- Interview with J.R. Bookwalter - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Andrew J. Rausch - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Rick Popko and Dan West - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Director Stevan Mena (Malevolence) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Screenwriter Jeffery Reddick (Day of the Dead 2007) - January 22, 2015
- Teleconference interview with Mick Garris (Masters of Horror) - January 22, 2015
- A Day at the Morgue with Corri English (Unrest) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Writer/Director Nacho Cerda (The Abandoned, Aftermath) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actress Thora Birch (Dark Corners, The Hole, American Beauty) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actor Jason Behr, Plus Skinwalkers Press Coverage - January 22, 2015
