Hack/Slash started off as an outstandingly original one-shot adventure that really put a spin on the slasher genre. The comic focused on Cassie Hack, a troubled girl who was forced to slay her own mother after she became a rage-infested, maniacal murderer. Accompanying Cassie was her gas mask-clad behemoth friend Vlad, who lived his life in a basement for twenty years and wasn’t exactly the most social being in the universe. Together, the outcast duo set out to destroy any and all creepy, weapon-wielding, revenge-fueled slashers in sight. In other words, they were the slashers of slashers.

Since the first Hack/Slash comic’s initial release, Cassie and Vlad have returned in a number of different forms as Hack/Slash has become a cult hit of sorts. It has developed into a full-fledged series, is in the process of being turned into a movie, and, oddly enough, is being adapted into a live-action musical for the stage. On top of all this in store for the fresh franchise, someone behind it all decided that it was time for the series to take part in its first “crossover” (an amalgam of one or more comic characters from completely different series)—and who better to take on Cassie and Vlad than the presumed-to-be-extinct psychotic teenage metalhead zombie Evil Ernie? Answer: absolutely no one.

For those who didn’t follow the series, Evil Ernie told the story of a telepathically-inclined boy who was abused by his parents. Everyone who knew Ernie and his family knew that he was being abused, but refused to do anything about it. Thus, Ernie suffered for a good portion of his childhood and teen years—that is, until he used his telepathic powers to connect with Lady Death, a gothic queen of all things no longer living who, unlike anyone else in Ernie’s life, promised to love him in return for him helping her carry out her plans of creating the demise of humanity. Ernie naturally accepted, as he was starved for someone to care about him, and was transformed by Lady Death into an unstoppable supernatural killing machine.

It’s been quite a while now since Evil Ernie has made an appearance in any comic book’s pages—after all, his creator’s company, Chaos! Comics, went bankrupt a few years ago, and not much was heard from Ernie since then. In Hack/Slash: The Final Revenge of Evil Ernie, however, the spreader of “megadeath” has been resurrected from the dead, and this time he’s in a world different from the one he previously “made his bitch” (as Ernie’s best friend, Smiley the Psychotic Button so beautifully words it). In this world, no one even knows who the Evil One is. Though he still finds time to feed his murderous habits, Ernie spends most of his days in this different world searching for his beloved Lady Death, who, in this new world, is nowhere to be found. Enter Cassie Hack, who ends up tangoing with Ernie due to the fact that she specializes in hunting down insane killers. In the process of attempting to exterminate each other, both Cassie and Ernie manage to find some starkly similar parallels between both of their own troubled pasts. Being the twisted freak that he is, Ernie decides that since Cassie has suffered through pain and turmoil in her childhood just as he has, he will focus all of his romantic intentions on her, woo her by getting rid of all the “bad people” that she has dedicated her life to destroying, and make her his “queen of the dead.”

Ernie’s inclusion into the Hack/Slash series seems absolutely perfect—Cassie and Ernie are definitely a match made in Hell, and are fantastically portrayed in the comic by the at times terrifying dark-yet-colorful art of Aadi Salman. Also, while the story hits quite a deep note with its themes of corrupt childhoods and deranged love, it doesn’t forget to leave out the good ol’ slasher element, so fans of the genre’s trademark stabbing, ripping, dismembering and impaling won’t be disappointed, and Salman depicts all of the aforementioned attacks on the human body in all their gory detail.

The dialogue contained in the story is perfectly coordinated and customized to each individual character by the talented series creator and writer Tim Seeley. Cassie delivers her lighthearted sarcasm at times, but also proves to not just be a one-dimensional character as, when things get intense for her, the joking comes to a halt and is replaced by the pronounced release of pent-up yet confused anger and frustration, all veiled with a of sheet of sadness as a result of Evil Ernie reminding her of the life she was forced to live through when she was younger. Vlad, on the other hand, carries out his childish, sheltered-from-the-world interrogations and observations, providing a bit of humor and innocence to the otherwise dark and serious story, and Evil Ernie brings back his classic straight-to-the-point, “I ain’t gonna lie to you” word choice. None of the dialogue ever comes off as fake, and really makes the reader feel as if the characters portrayed on the pages are real people. Whether disguised by macabre distortions or not, each character seems real because they all have flaws and obstacles that they must overcome. Sympathizing or feeling any emotion at all for comic characters isn’t common, but I promise that this book will cause the reader to do so.

There isn’t an audience to which I cannot recommend Hack/Slash: The Final Revenge of Evil Ernie. Fans of the slasher genre will dig the book for the obvious reasons, and even those who absolutely despise the genre for its occasional mindlessness will find something to appreciate, as it is one hell of a step above many of those asinine, story-less members of the genre (and just for the record, I’m not hating on slasher films here—I personally have a huge fondness for them, but I do believe that there’s a time and place for everything, and most slashers tend to be a little more on the “b-movie” side than the “deep, emotion-provoking work of art” side). In fact, this book is one hell of a step above a lot of things—it’s certainly one of the greatest horror tales I’ve ever had the privilege of reading. While it incorporates the killing and blood that all self-respecting horror fans crave, it also isn’t afraid to have both a heart and a brain, invoking a Bride of Frankenstein-esque sense of horror-laced beauty. Bring on the movie and the musical, I say! Oh yeah, and more issues of the comic.

-Spooky Steve