Tagline: Two college students embark on a road trip home for the holidays and take a detour off the main highway. Eerie things happen when night falls upon them and their car gets stuck in a snow drift.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

That has been the sound as of late while audiences have been giving the cold shoulder to studios offering us horror films. The same thing happened this past Friday evening as I sat with 9 other people in a stadium theatre and Wind Chill played.

Produced by George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh, I was hopeful that the duo had churned out a minor gem in the current graveyard of knockoffs and remakes. Wind Chill is directed by Soderbergh’s first assistant director Greg Jacobs, and the tale opened and grinded to a halt within the first five minutes of the film.

Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada) stars as a hot as hell but extremely unlikable college student looking for a ride share home for Christmas. She hooks up with this odd duck, credited only as the boy (A History of Violence), and they take off towards Delaware.

Cliché and forced dialog ensues for way way way way way way way way way too long. The funniest bit was their discussion of Nietzsche and philosophy. (People were shifting in their seats and groaning with how bad these two characters are.) The characters end up at a gas station/diner and she gets locked in a bathroom, screams for help and eventually comes out and no one has heard her. Yep, that makes no sense.

On the road, the boy proclaims how he sort of stalked her in class and that he had no reason to drive to the east coast except to take her home. (Groan) Then they get stuck in a snow drift after being driven off the road. Upon investigation, they find no tire tracks from the other vehicle. Truth be told, at this point the film hasn’t made a lick of sense and if it wasn’t for the characters TELLING us what they were looking for, the audience seriously wouldn’t understand.

Bad things ensue with random priests walking through the woods, a strange highway patrolman (Donovan) with a shady past and some random goriness where you’ll be scratching your head saying wtf?

One of the funnier moments of the film is when Emily suggests that they shimmy up a telephone pole, tap into the phone service box and call 911. Sounds good, but how… “I will use this random telephone and cord that I just so happened to have brought with…” her character belts out as laughter erupted in the theatre.

First off, I was very disappointed. I believe that Emily is the hottest thing to come around since Monica Bellucci. She’s talented, the camera loves her and well, beautiful. But her character from the word go is not worth any compassion. There is no redeeming character arc for her and the twisted back story reminded me of Ground Hog Day with a horror themed spin. Even that thought doesn’t scan through the picture.

One must wonder where this film went wrong. Given the pedigree of Soderbergh and Clooney, I expected another cerebral head trip like The Jacket (which is an interesting story, not great, but intriguing enough to warrant a rent of it).

No filler for this poorly executed Chiller

-Jack Reher