Summer People

This independent film about the hazards of dabbling with “the forces of darkness” opens with a simple animated narration explaining how Native American life was disrupted by settlers. After forcing images of their god upon the indigenous population, the new arrivals’ self-righteous slaughter of the local people soon followed. However:

Not long after, a strange group of Eastern Europeans arrived. These new settlers were mystics who possessed the power to communicate with the spirits of the slain natives. They did this through the use of an oracle…These oracles were usually young girls deranged by visions from the spirit world. After the oracle made contact with the restless spirits an alliance was formed, and together the mystics and the spirits of the unjustly slain natives had their revenge.

An oath was made to forever respect the spirits of the dead, and…

A batch of baby-faced city kids is driving from Chicago to a summer cabin in the woods, discussing the summoning ritual they’re going to hold there. Mama’s boy Sam (Luke Schneider) is creeped out by the idea of channeling the dead, but his three pals are all for it. Particularly goth fortuneteller Simone (Kelsey Scheider), although her cute brunette sister Lisa (Nyssa Zeona) and Lisa’s “intense” jagoff boyfriend Tom (Neil Kubath) are all game for a weekend of the supernatural as well.

As they leave a strip mall and a minor encounter with an Indian token, Simone provides a morbid summary of the area’s history. Reflecting the introduction, her tale speaks of the settlers who murdered the region’s inhabitants, only to be killed off themselves by a more mysterious clan.

Upon reaching the lakeside cabin it is found to be neither as isolated nor as dilapidated (read: haunted) as one might have hoped. As the group deals with petty squabbles and a tricky television set, nearby a darkened cult-like assembly is underway, complete with grim references to “the Strangers” and “the Elders.” That evening, under blue- and rose-colored party lights, Tom leads the ceremony by which the kids will “attempt to summon one of the fallen spirits of this land.” Hands are joined, eyes are closed, and an incantation (in German?) attracts the attention of an unseen entity. Unfortunately the humorous cry of a night fisherman disrupts the group’s concentration, and contact is lost. Tom stalks away to sulk as the others try to laugh it off.

Lakeside hijinks the next day end on a disturbing note when the gang returns to the cabin to find…that the furniture has been slightly rearranged! Around the campfire that night the possibility of a haunting is raised, and Simone suggests a second ritual be conducted. With closure this time. Lisa however is becoming increasingly uneasy with the spiritual element of the trip, not to mention the attention Tom and Simone are paying one another. In fact, with a little more talk about ritual and a lot of sleazy lines, Tom and Simone step out to take a walk in the woods together.

Who should disrupt their little interlude however than, not Lisa, but the pizza delivery geek who had the wrong address the night before. He saw what they were up to, “Witchcraft,” and he just has to warn them about the area. But under Tom’s glare the kid freaks out and leaves, his cautionary tale unfinished. Alone again, Tom asks Simone if she’s interested in “An intense experience.” When asked what he has in mind, Tom suggests a walk. (But wait a minute, weren’t they just…?)

But Tom’s actually still back at the cabin with Lisa and Sam, dicking around with the telescope that earlier had shown him something unsettling. It’s his doppelganger in the woods, see, a masquerading spirit hiding in his form. (Or something.) This double continues to lure Simone deeper into the forest, eventually seducing her. But once he’s got her undressed and on the ground, Tom’s face begins to melt away and drip down upon her like wax. Simone is soon covered in a shiny white cocoon which, apparently, digests her and bleeds her remains out into the soil to be greedily absorbed by the carpet of vegetation on the forest floor.

In the morning a surly police officer arrives in response to the kids’ missing persons complaint. He soon stomps off with a grumbled warning about them messing around with something they know nothing about, leaving them to argue amongst themselves. Tom’s big mouth sends Sam running off to the lake by himself, where he fudges his undies when a dead-white hand rises from the depths to capture one of the stones he was skipping. Rushing back to the cabin Sam disturbs Lisa, who decides that enough is enough. Taking up Tom’s violet composition book she heads outside…

Walking along the road, Tom thinks he sees Simone off in the woods. As he approaches her however she loses it, falling to the ground thrashing and growling. Our hero just leaves her there, heading back to the cabin in time to see Lisa making a campfire out of his spell book. As they bitch at each other, inside the cabin Sam sees Simone’s image on the television screen. As she lures him closer to the set, begging for help, a gigantic pair of skeletal hands emerges from the screen and pulls Sam inside. (Cue big rubbery skull laughing from inside the TV.)

Lisa comes in just in time to see Sam disappear, and now believing that Tom is pure evil for releasing such a malignant force she locks herself in her bedroom and begins to pray. Suddenly the figure of a priest appears, telling her that he’s been sent to comfort her. “I can save you, but I need you to trust me. Totally… Now, this is going to be complicated, and it might hurt a bit… Now lay down, please… Close your eyes…” and for trusting a Catholic priest this much you really don’t have a lot of hope and sympathy for her when the man raises a kitchen knife above her.

The last eight minutes of the film attempt to justify and explain the preceding 58, and without giving too much away I can tell you without qualification that it was just not worth the wait. Sacajawea, what a letdown. How many haunting-in-the-woods or revenge-of-Indian-spirits stories have been committed to film by now? I don’t know exactly, but I do know it’s enough to set a better example than this. The film sets itself up for a Blair Witch kind of thing, but doesn’t even pay off at a Book of Shadows level.

Loads of pop culture references and intentionally bad puns try to liven up the dialogue, but the actors’ portrayals manage to make most of the characters objectionable right from the start. Simone’s habit of making nearly every line a melodramatic proclamation, like some Valley girl playing goth, is pretty wearisome, as is Sam’s whining and Tom’s self-styled ‘bad boy’ attitude. Which is unfortunate considering that these characters make up 75% of the main cast.

On top of this is a very loose storyline further damaged by poor pacing – it takes close to 45 minutes before there’s any kind of real action. And even then all you have is a body silhouette and some cheap FX. Excruciatingly boring, after a while just checking the counter to see how close to conclusion the film was even became depressing. Monster finger-puppet theater would be more intense.

The infamous Oracle is under-represented as well: much talked about in the narration and utilized on the menu and DVD face, in the storyline her role is relegated to that of an apparently naked girl crouching in darkness, muttering to unseen followers and forces. What she actually has to do with the bizarre events that unfold is never quite clear. (Way to pick a goofy new age broad name though, Raynn Maegik.)

Although shot on film the movie has a flat camcorder look to much of it and winds up having the atmosphere of a cheap commercial. Not helping are the bad costumes (way to sell yourself short with the Creepy rip-off shirts, Wes!) and set design.

Final proof that the story is absolutely unrealistic: there’s not a single can of beer to be seen. Four kids out for a weekend at the lake with no booze? That is pretty magical.

On to the Extra Features. Yes, the last thing you need after being bored stupid for an hour is more filler space. You can look at deleted scenes (justifiably), go behind the scenes with “Tales from the Doc Side” (no justification), photo galleries (“Special Effects,” “On the Set,” “Miscellaneous Art”), auditions (for fucksake, how much longer is this going to go on?), “Sam’s Show” (Sam’s favorite black and white supernatural soap opera), and an animated storyboard sequence for the opening narration. How good are they? These bonuses were so enthralling that I actually took the opportunity to defrost my refrigerator during their running time. You’d be well advised to do the same, as you’ll no doubt feel better after that than you will after watching Summer People.

– Tom Crites