Bride of the Monster is an aggregation of firsts and lasts: It was Ed Wood’s first horror film (his third full-length feature after Glen or Glenda and Jailbait), Tor Johnson’s first onscreen portrayal of a character named Lobo, Bela Lugosi’s (second to) last role, the film served as the first time Bela beat Tor with a whip onscreen as well as the first occasion upon which Tor was beaten by Bela, and the first (and possibly only) time a production crew may or may not have stolen a rubber octopus from Republic Studios.
Exiled nuclear scientist Doctor Eric Vornoff (Bela Lugosi, Dracula, White Zombie) has begun experiments with radiation (thus far unsuccessful, culminating in twelve deaths) near Lake Marsh in hopes of creating a master race which will conquer the world at his behest. Janet Lawton (Loretta King), a local reporter, disgruntled at Captain Tom Robbins (Harvey B. Dunn, an extra in My Fair Lady) and her fiancé, Lieutenant Dick Craig (Tony McCoy), for not providing any answers to the twelve missing persons, begins her own investigation.
Bride of the Monster is vintage Ed Wood. For instance, when the figure of Craig is sinking in quicksand, he fires eight, count ’em eight, shots from a six-shot revolver. During the final scene, Vornoff sets Janet down in the swamp before running off stage left. Dick and Craig cut across the screen in hot pursuit. The good doctor is then killed and, as the dynamic duo, having saved the day, leave, they turn and exit left before appearing stage left once more in order to retrieve Janet. Apparently, even though Bela was on the verge of overdosing, he had enough gumption in him to make it clear around the world before Lake Marsh’s finest caught up with him.
However, Bride of the Monster does offer a lot of insight into the inner workings of nuclear technology. Case in point, if you are subject to being the victim of a nuclear radiation experiment, you can expect a rimmed, metal bowl to be placed on your head as a dental camera (actually a photograph enlarger) is aimed at you before it emits its deadly rays. Also, if you do inadvertently donate your body to science because the megalomaniac in charge of the root canal forgot to tweak the knobs just so, you don’t have to worry about the cumbersome funeral arrangements afterward because each and every nuclear nutcase has been issued, as specified on the government grant, an octopus as a garbage disposal.
The acting in the work is some of the worst I’ve ever suffered through. Aside from Lugosi reheating his trademark gestures from White Zombie, the remainder of the cast seems as if atrophy set in moments after a rampant case of rigor mortis went on break. I caught myself, midway through another of Loretta King’s abrupt deliveries (as if her lines had an expiration date) trying to recall if I had a metal bowel with a brim.
Though, I will admit, the storyline, aside from the couple-dozen non sequiturs, was fairly decent considering the director’s reputation, the highlight of which being Vornoff beating Lobo every other scene with a leather whip.
This history of the film is arguably more entertaining than the feature itself. Donald McCoy, credited as the executive producer (because he financed the picture, natch), presented the world with his son, Tony, who subsequently starred in and was “Associate Producer” of the film. Donald didn’t agree with nuclear weaponry and thus, before signing the check, had Wood promise to make the film a cautionary tale. What resulted was Wood, frantically cutting between stock footage and what he’d filmed, closing with what appears to be a causal relationship: When lightening strikes an octopus, a nuclear reaction occurs resulting in a trademark mushroom cloud. The source of the financial backing also accounts for why the hell Janet appears in a wedding dress as she enters Vornoff’s laboratory in the face of becoming fish food like so many of her guinea pig predecessors (twelve if you lost count). My only guess would be, considering the original title was Bride of the Atom atop the film still hosting the theme of nuclear energy, that Wood somehow forgot, or–more than likely–merely neglected, to rewrite the script accordingly.
An argument as to whether or not Wood got shut out of Republic Studios and, out of desperation, stole a prop octopus in order to complete a scene and, in his haste, omitted to snatch the motor which activated its tentacles, has yet to be resolved. Some say he rented it and the rest is urban legend yet I’d argue for the former because, if the octo was granted legitimately, unless Wood could only provide enough moola for the creature and not its innards, I don’t see why we’re given a Bela futilely thrashing in ankle-deep water in an attempt to make the prop appear real. But, considering the octopus was from the set of Wake of the Red Witch starring John Wayne, I doubt anyone in their right mind would risk the wrath of The Duke. (O.k., I know, I didn’t exactly eliminate Ed on that one but you get my drift, I’m still going with the first option.)
Luckily, Wood followed the feature with a sequel, Night of the Ghouls.
-Egregious Gurnow
- Interview with J.R. Bookwalter - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Andrew J. Rausch - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Rick Popko and Dan West - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Director Stevan Mena (Malevolence) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Screenwriter Jeffery Reddick (Day of the Dead 2007) - January 22, 2015
- Teleconference interview with Mick Garris (Masters of Horror) - January 22, 2015
- A Day at the Morgue with Corri English (Unrest) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Writer/Director Nacho Cerda (The Abandoned, Aftermath) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actress Thora Birch (Dark Corners, The Hole, American Beauty) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actor Jason Behr, Plus Skinwalkers Press Coverage - January 22, 2015
