One should not expect a decent psychological horror film to come from the action director responsible for the likes of Speed or Twister. Predictably, Jan de Bont–with rookie screenwriter David Self in tow and without so much a giving the work a new title–uncouthly, arrogantly attempts to remake nothing short of a masterpiece, Robert Wise’s The Haunting. In short, understatement is in inverse portion between the latter’s adaptation of Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House and the former’s revisioning of the tale. What results is, well, titular–but not in a good way.
This neglected, abused, malnourished, bastard of a production is on par with some of the worst low, low budget affairs of the 1950s, so much so that–in its frequent missteps–it inadvertently lapses into MST3K camp with almost every scene. What makes such a cinematic fiasco all the more befuddling is that Bont accomplishes such with the aide of competent source material, Wise’s feature as a guide, Shirley Jackson’s novel upon which the former is based, four steadfast actors, and 80 million dollars.
In a film where characters complete front flips but land facing backward, atmospheric chaos leaves one’s hair pristine, markers write in graphite, rooms which have not been inhabited for over 130-years house modern telephones, arched windows change their architecture when viewed from the opposing side, an L.A. to Paris plane trip takes at least three-quarters of a day to complete, locks shift from one side of a door to another, a double bed transforms into a twin overnight, and wrought-iron and stone have the consistency of rubber, we shouldn’t be surprised that the screenwriter forgets about an assistant, Todd Hackett (Todd Field), who leaves the central locale in order to take Mary Lambetta (Alix Korozmay) to a hospital but, apparently, forgets to return. Of course, Self also overlooks the fact that the collective is able to unlock the gates on this particular occasion but, once their lives are in peril, they–for no other reason than Hollywood convenience–cannot escape.
Sure, in lieu of the faux pas of presuming one can do justice to a masterpiece, we open with the original premise, a collective entering a haunted mansion to ascertain the degree and level of its manifestation, shifting to that of a feigned study of insomnia so that the overseeing researcher, David Marrow (Liam Neeson), can examine the nature of fear unabated. However, such a tantalizing set-up is raped once the inevitable haunting occurs and Marrow fails to divulge which of the previous frights were enacted at his hand so that the audience can discern the girth of the recently revealed menace. With this, we ignore the apparently Herculean task–despite the fact Wise does so exquisitely–of the film playing with its audience as its newly-minted premise all but begs for it to skirt the question of whether the house is haunted or whether the hysteria evidenced by Lili Taylor’s character, Eleanor Vance, is merely self-contained and goaded by Marrow’s incessant drive for knowledge.
Granted, the surroundings are pretty but how seriously can we take a production which, if no one were the wiser, would appear to be a Disney-led affair, which one of its temporary inhabitants describes as “Charles Foster Kane meets ‘The Munsters’”? Apparently as seriously as Taylor, who is physically well cast for she looks much like the children whose souls are likewise trapped in Hill House, yet she does a poor job of conveying fear. Which becomes the rub of the performances for Bont places her front-and-center to the extent that her costars are all but forgotten. Nor does it help that the irrefutable phantoms, albeit benevolent ones, are Casper-esque in appearance anymore than the jarringly arbitrary fact that Catherine Zeta-Jones’s character is explicitly introduced as hyperactively bisexual in an otherwise PG affair (a doubly arbitrary move on the director’s behalf for Wise’s implementation of such serves two purposes, neither of which are relevant to Bont’s feature). But, then again, we have a cynic in Wise’s version, who is incorporated in order to shatter the skepticism which might be exhibited by various audience members once the character becomes convinced of the existence of an ominous presence. Do we have a corollary figure in Bont’s production? Yes, one of only two-and-a-half characters who retain their original titles from Wise’s work (Eleanor’s surname metamorphoses back to “Lance” from the novel–yet, perplexingly, “Marrow” appears from left field as “Markway” and “Montague” precede respectively): Owen Wilson plays Luke (the other retainee being Jones’s Theo), whose aura via a perpetual besmirched grimace automatically oozes cynicism. Does he play a skeptic? No, rather, as par for the film, a straight, honest, concerned individual. Predictably, in lieu of the casting, the script doesn’t allow him to supercede his preceding reputation.
In order to avoid running the risk of beleaguering the overstatement, arbitrary convolution, and a sophomoric understanding of the surface aspects of the material (to say nothing of the more relevant facets of the work), all of which seem to be the agenda with The Haunting, I will humbly close upon the non sequitur that Keenen Ivory Wayans’s Scary Movie 2 is based upon Jan de Bont’s ready-made parody . . . .
-Egregious Gurnow
- Interview with J.R. Bookwalter - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Andrew J. Rausch - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Rick Popko and Dan West - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Director Stevan Mena (Malevolence) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Screenwriter Jeffery Reddick (Day of the Dead 2007) - January 22, 2015
- Teleconference interview with Mick Garris (Masters of Horror) - January 22, 2015
- A Day at the Morgue with Corri English (Unrest) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Writer/Director Nacho Cerda (The Abandoned, Aftermath) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actress Thora Birch (Dark Corners, The Hole, American Beauty) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actor Jason Behr, Plus Skinwalkers Press Coverage - January 22, 2015
