So, last week, I watched these free little short things on the Sundance Channel with Isabella Rossellini called GREEN PORNO. They’re all about how insects and spiders and sea creatures have the sex. Many of these are very violent, and some are downright frightening—dragonflies are basically rapists. I mention all this as a segue, because Isabella Rossellini is also in INFECTED … and because those little shorts about animal shenanigans were actually scarier than this movie.
Actually, it started out kind of promising. There was this commercial, see, and it was all about making this fancy water called Hydropure because the Boston Plague is this craze sweeping the nation .. kind of like the Swine Flu, only worse. But then, we get thrown into this hot mess of some guy who needs to get the Mayor’s gross alien blood so he assassinates him in broad daylight, grabs a vial of blood, and after much inept hallway chasing, gets the bloody proof to a reporter named Ben (Gil Bellows). Ben and his ex Lisa (Maxim Roy), when they’re not busy having lame discussions about why their relationship failed, are hot on the trail of the big alien conspiracy they discover after running tests on the E.T. Mayor’s blood. The aliens are everywhere, taking over through the Hydropure water, and it’s up to Ben and Lisa to get it all fixed up.
It isn’t that there’s just one or two things wrong with INFECTED. It’s that they all combine in such way that they make a film that’s, in a way, worse than simply bad. It’s just … mediocre. From almost beginning to end, it felt like a below-average episode of “The Outer Limits,” with stilted, kind of lame dialogue, performances that are both over-the-top and forgettable, and a premise that really isn’t anything we haven’t seen done before and done better. There are plot holes inside bigger, goofy plot canyons that can’t be ignored (and that I won’t go into due to lack of space and to stay free of spoilers). Plus, I’m often not the most observant girl when it comes to stuff like this, but the sets actually looked like they were being re-used. Did they use the budget on their big Judd Nelson and Isabella Rossellini hires? Oh—let’s talk a little bit about the alien at the end. Heeheeheehee!! He made me giggle. There were some nasty and pretty decent looking maggot-y burrowing alien babies, which is why it got that extra half-star. Overall, though, I prefer to remember Bellows as Billy on “Ally McBeal,” Rossellini doing it with either snails or Dennis Hopper, and Nelson as … well … even in CABIN BY THE LAKE.
– Amber Goddard
- Interview with J.R. Bookwalter - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Andrew J. Rausch - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Rick Popko and Dan West - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Director Stevan Mena (Malevolence) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Screenwriter Jeffery Reddick (Day of the Dead 2007) - January 22, 2015
- Teleconference interview with Mick Garris (Masters of Horror) - January 22, 2015
- A Day at the Morgue with Corri English (Unrest) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Writer/Director Nacho Cerda (The Abandoned, Aftermath) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actress Thora Birch (Dark Corners, The Hole, American Beauty) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actor Jason Behr, Plus Skinwalkers Press Coverage - January 22, 2015
