A cursory glance at this year’s horror movie release schedules could leave you thinking someone slipped something into your drink and caused you to travel back in time. Later in the year you’ll go back even further with the release of PIRANHA and LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, (not to mention HALLOWEEN II!), but 2009 begins with MY BLOODY VALENTINE appearing a month before FRIDAY THE 13TH!! (Back in the early 80’s, of course, Paramount released MY BLOODY VALENTINE in the wake of their success with FRIDAY). The retro feel in the case of the new VALENTINE is reinforced by the presence of two notable B-movie actors from the period it revives : both Kevin Tighe and Tom Atkins not only effortlessly steal the movie but they also look the same as they did in (respectively) ROADHOUSE and MANIAC COP, made two decades earlier.
The nostalgia factor doesn’t end there : Lionsgate’s MY BLOODY VALENTINE redux basks in the glory of this century’s hi-tech take on 3-D, a format that has teamed up with the horror genre very rarely since 1982’s triple whammy of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III, JAWS 3 and AMITYVILLE 3, all of which took on a third dimension. Since then, we’ve had the ropey final 10 minutes of the sixth ELM STREET flick and a whole movie (the ennui-inducing post-SAW slasher SCAR) that wasted the technology, but this flick exploit’s the gimmick to the max and its best audience will be 80’s slasher movie fans who were too young to actually see the third FRIDAY on a big screen with those dumb old-school 3-D glasses.
The 1981 MY BLOODY VALENTINE – finally released in its gruesome uncut version after decades of speculation, though, ironically, it took this film’s theatrical release to provoke such a release – was among the very best of the original slasher cycle. Its balls were cut off by the MPAA, who were obviously pissed that Paramount had snuck the original FRIDAY THE 13TH past them with very few cuts, but it achieved a degree of atmosphere, tension and characterization that many of its peers lacked. As a sign of how things have changed, the new version contains a whole lot of (literally) in-your-face gore and heavy duty violence and has squeaked by the MPAA with seemingly little in the way of fuss. (Though you can fully expect an unrated DVD release down the line with 23 additional seconds of violence or something similar).
Perhaps the best thing you can say about 2009’s MY BLOODY VALENTINE aside from praise for its excellent 3-D, is that it proves far more in keeping with the spirit of 80’s slasher films than last year’s streamlined PROM NIGHT remake. Co-writers Zane Smith and JASON X’s Todd Farmer (amusingly writing himself a role as a trucker who bangs a hot chick in a seedy motel) faithfully adapt the 1981 screenplay, retaining most of the character names, keeping the original’s central narrative threads and sustaining a very 1981-style who’s-behind-the-mask? mystery with skill. They also know exactly what 80’s slasher fans demand, so this VALENTINE is chock full of blood and gore, with a generous dose of full frontal nudity and corny dialogue thrown in to complete the homage.
The basic plot remains the same, with a few cosmetic changes (including the renaming of the town “Harmony”). Ten years ago, Harmony was host to a shocking Valentine’s murder-spree attributed to unbalanced miner Harry Warden, who apparently died in the subsequent cave-in. In the present, local boy Jensen Ackles returns to his hometown, where old flame Jaime King is stuck in an unhappy marriage to adulterous womanising Sheriff Kerr Smith and secretly yearns for the old romance to be rekindled. Ackles becomes the prime suspect when, as Valentine’s Day approaches, a series of spookily familiar murders committed by a pick-ax-wielding person in miner’s outfit rock the town. Retired Sheriff Tom Atkins joins the manhunt as the bodycount mounts.
Director Patrick Lussier, helming a rare theatrical release, rose to prominence as the editor of Wes Craven’s SCREAM trilogy, so has a strong understanding of how to cut an intense stalk n slash set piece. One of this film’s major strengths is that the murder sequences, although drenched in viscera, are also genuinely suspenseful : there’s an outstanding motel room chase scene early on involving a fully naked Betsy Rue and a bed frame that is as memorable for its surprising nudity (you don’t get many naked chicks in slasher films nowadays but you got plenty back in 1981) as it is for its nerve-wracking threat of violence. At its best, the movie uses the striking new “Real-D” process as effectively for scenes like this as it does for the expected moments of displaced eyeballs popping into the laps of the audience a la FRIDAY PART III. A nail-biting stalk n chase sequence in and around a convenience store is also outstanding without much elaborate grue.
There are weaknesses : a lot of the dialogue is functional at best, almost snigger-inducingly clunky at worst, and the pic could have been tightened up in certain sections, with the love-triangle sub-plot being the least engaging element of the script. That said, these factors were present in the original too, and even the best early 80’s slasher movies sometimes sagged dramatically in between kills.
And, as for the kills….You can say what you want about the movie’s genuine tension and the really impressive way it uses 3-D both for cheap gimmicky audience-poking moments (you’ll lose count of the number of times a flashlight or pick-ax hits you in the face) and to give otherwise ordinary shots a cool third dimension of depth. Let’s face it, you’re in it for the body count.
Now that the aforementioned MPAA have let stuff like SAW III and HOSTEL through with minimal cuts, almost anything goes in today’s R-rated genre fare. Gary J Tunnicliffe gets ample opportunities here to show off his old-school make-up effects abilities, and the flick has a cheer-worthy gruesome death every few minutes or so. If you’re a true fan of 80’s slasher flicks and 80’s B-cinema in general, there’s a good chance you may stand up and applaud at the opportunity to see Tom Atkins’ brutally removed jaw hurl its way messily toward the camera and Kevin Tighe’s head being shoved eyeball-first into a pick-ax that’s got wedged in the floorboards. All, of course, in glorious 3-D.
– Steven West
- Interview with J.R. Bookwalter - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Andrew J. Rausch - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Rick Popko and Dan West - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Director Stevan Mena (Malevolence) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Screenwriter Jeffery Reddick (Day of the Dead 2007) - January 22, 2015
- Teleconference interview with Mick Garris (Masters of Horror) - January 22, 2015
- A Day at the Morgue with Corri English (Unrest) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Writer/Director Nacho Cerda (The Abandoned, Aftermath) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actress Thora Birch (Dark Corners, The Hole, American Beauty) - January 22, 2015
- Interview with Actor Jason Behr, Plus Skinwalkers Press Coverage - January 22, 2015
